#HereAndNow: Gus’s Recovery Story

I was born in Canada and have worked in Hong Kong for the past 10 years. I was diagnosed as having an adjustment disorder mixed with anxiety and depression. I was going through a period where multiple stressful life events had an impact on my mental health. I also started to have physical symptoms, such as spontaneous skin rashes. Having to take daily medication just to control the rashes was difficult for me to accept as I perceived it as a weakness. Initially I did not make the connection that my mental health was having an impact on my physical health.

I was in a very dark place at one point and had difficulty in seeing the positive things in life. It always felt cloudy even on a sunny day. As I was having these struggles during Covid, I was unable to travel and see family which was my usual outlet of finding balance and harmony. Despite my efforts to try and get better, I only felt worse as time went on as I was unable to see the progress I had hoped.

Eventually, I realized that I needed to make a more drastic change. I needed to be selfish for once, and do things not worrying about how others perceived me. I previously hesitated asking for extended time off work because of how people would view that. I prided myself on always being available and ready to do what’s best for others as I would find gratification knowing that I made a difference in someone else’s life. It was time to make a difference in my life.

I had my own bias and stigma prior to and at the start of my journey. I have always felt I am lucky in life and so all of this was just in my head. I thought that mental health issues were easily avoidable and I was only making excuses by thinking that I had problems. Only when I accepted that I needed help and that my issues were real and present, could I start the recovery journey. I had to ignore the voices in my head telling me that I was fine, because I wasn’t.

What truly accelerated my recovery was being more self aware. I was able to be more honest and transparent when having conversations during therapy, or with my close friends and family. Being more open to sharing and listening, I was able to take bits and pieces that I could compile and make it more relevant to me.

Whilst I may still have my moments of worry, I feel I am better prepared and more equipped to face challenges. Once you realise that things aren’t going right, you can start to take steps towards feeling good again. You’re going to have to make difficult decisions that may go against how you’ve been taught or raised. Trust yourself to do what’s best for you.