#HereAndNow: Kristeen’s Recovery Story
Growing up, I didn’t have much opportunity to be fully myself due to expectations from family, church and school. Maintaining my high academic performance took so much out of me that I started losing my hair. I also kept my identity as a lesbian a secret from my family for over 2 decades, and even spent a few of my teenage years trying to be a “normal” girl.
My hope was that if I stuck to the “scripts” I was given, then everything would be fine. But not being authentic to myself made it difficult to regulate my emotions, discover my true strengths and weaknesses, and have healthy relationships.
The first time I realised I needed help was after a breakup with my first girlfriend during college. I was having a hard time processing my feelings. I started losing my hair again and lost a lot of weight. My best friend told me about how going to therapy had helped her, so I started looking for options.
I ended up going to a local organisation that provided counselling services on a sliding scale basis. I paid for it with the money I made as a research assistant, and kept it secret from my parents, giving the excuse that I was going out to study every Saturday for 6 months.
Since then, I’ve continuously been working on becoming more and more my authentic self. As a result, at the age of 28, I was able to get my official ADHD diagnosis and at 30, I finally came out as a lesbian to my family.
Over the years, I had to let go of certain relationships—most recently, ones with family members. What’s really helped me is finding people who appreciate me for who I am. Whether it’s through finding interest groups, joining small communities, casually hanging out with different people, or building my own chosen family. Sharing my story through Mind HK has certainly helped me feel less alone as well.
One major thing I learned since starting my mental health journey is that coping mechanisms can change over time. What worked before may not work as well now, and that’s completely okay. Journaling was my main focus in college. Today, it’s managing my diet, fitness and medication.
