Sharing by Juliana – World Bipolar Day
Today (30th March) is World Bipolar Day, and I would like to present a drawing I created to accompany my story. In the drawing, I symbolize my experience with bipolar disorder using a snake. I hold this experience close to my heart and strive to find a balance that allows me to live comfortably alongside the illness.
I am Juliana, a person in recovery from bipolar disorder and a registered social worker. When I first encountered bipolar disorder, I felt a sense of fear towards this mental state. It stemmed from the lack of control I had over my symptoms. I couldn’t determine when my mood would be elevated or when it would plummet. When my mood stabilised, I felt like I was tempted by the feeling of the manic episode, I wanted to go back to the state when I felt excited, euphoric and confident.
During my manic episode, I would impulsively spend too much, I even had delusions and strange behaviours that others couldn’t comprehend. The process was sometimes accompanied by fear. During depressive episodes, I felt as if I were drowning in the sea, unable to free myself from the struggle. When the depression lifted, I experienced a bittersweet nostalgia.
As I lived with bipolar disorder over time, I realised that it can feel like a lovely creature that visits you from time to time. I understood that by taking medication, making changes to my living conditions, and fostering close relationships with my family and friends, I could manage my illness. It is no longer rampant. I realized that this creature enriched my inner world, heightening my sensitivity and inspiring me creatively.
It is a life-long process to learn to find the balance in life. A doctor once said that to prevent relapses, we must find the golden mean in life: too much stimulation can trigger a manic mood, while too little can lead to depression. This is an experience I still face at times.
In the drawing, the dancing girl represents balance. Certain movements and poses in dance require a keen sense of physical balance and a great deal of practice. Each position of the body and the force exerted by each muscle are key for maintaining balance. I hope to frequently find balance in life, allowing me to live steadily and pursue my dreams.
On World Bipolar Day, I want to convey to anyone facing a mental health condition that you are not alone in your struggle. I hope you understand that our experiences are challenging yet unique, and I encourage you to show yourself compassion.
If you would like to see more about my recovery journey, please feel free to follow my Instagram page @dyeinglifebipolaring . I wish for more people to see and acknowledge individuals like us.
